I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Randomize
