I just made out with a guy for $7.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
