I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
