so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize