Say something about gay babies.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
