nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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