How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
