Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
