go do what you do best...puke behind churches
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
