I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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