You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
