omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
