my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
How external is "for external use only"?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
