how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I wish you could order shots online.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
