So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
