At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
