How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
