I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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