I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
