his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
