so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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