i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
