Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
