love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
