Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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