hotel room ftw
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
