that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
