So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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