evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
