Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
