hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize