Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
