i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
