Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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