I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
