apparently the secret to your success is patron
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Bring me that man meat
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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