hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
