the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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