Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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