quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I should be sponsored by Trojan
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize