apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
