I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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