is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
