first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
i out mim tonsoeep
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
