mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Randomize
