hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
