how can u be prego again
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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