They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
