I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
