I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
