the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Randomize
