You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Randomize
