Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
