nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
