So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
