Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
My feet surprised me
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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