best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
